Mumps

[jman]

Fucking doctor has diagnosed me with mumps... how the fuck can I catch that at my age ??  My cheeks have swelled to gigantic proportions (maybe overstating that a tad) and my face aches... I look like a bloody hamster at the moment.

...personally I think they have misdiagnosed me, I don't have a fever or a cold or a headache or swollen testicles (which can happen LOL) - but I do have swollen cheeks, some dull aching and a constant dry mouth... we'll see, my hospital records don't indicate I've had the vaccination for it so she took a blood test, should find out Thursday.

But with mumps being quite contagious and all the boys at work being older than me and probably not had the vaccinations either... I've got at least 3 days off work regardless.. time to do all those bits at home that I never get round to do.. like sitting on the sofa playing xbox 

[Late]

Commiserations/Congratulations mate.

[jman]

Lol thanks, I think the novelty of not going to work has worn off now, my face has swollen even further and I can feel the start of a cold fever coming on... I don't like this anymore    I'm now thinking I definitely have mumps

You know those fat face apps you can get (like fatbooth), that take a picture and make your face appear fatter, yeah, that's what I look like normally now lol

Anyone else had mumps before?  The pressure on my ears just seems to be getting worse and worse with the swelling, it's very painful, especially when trying to chew/eat

[harv]

Had it when I was a kid and just remember that it's not pleasant

Supposed to be even worse if you're an adult and it can make you sterile

[harv]

I seem to remember hearing that some parents arrange for Mumps Parties when one of their kids has it so that they're all infected with it to prevent them getting it later on as an adult.

[jman]

I think that was back before the MMR vaccinations came into effect in 1988 as in was a very common virus to catch back then

Yeah it can make you sterile, although that's quite rare, 10% of men have lower sperm counts if their betty swollocks swell up, I'm still good on that front at the moment lol

It can also cause temporary deafness and pancreatitis  . I can relate with the deafness thing as theres so much pressure around my ears, paracetamol and ibuprofen seem to be working quite well though, and warm compresses seem to stop it hurting so much

[harv]

Nowt to do with Mumps but still medical related, I'm shitting bricks at the moment cos I'm having laser surgery on my mince pies on the 23rd. They stick special contact lenses in them that stop you from blinking, cut into the eyeball and then zap it with a laser.

Doesn't hurt much apparently but I've always hated the idea of contact lenses, putting things in your eyes is bloody gross.

[jman]

Can't sleep a bloody wink    I took some pills at 2:30, but I've got quite bad nausea and I can't get comfortable, I'm definitely sick of mumps now

So I was thinking earlier how many viruses/diseases I've had now, there's a lot!

Shingles
Whooping cough
Petit mal seizures
Asthma
Croup
Flu
German measles
Appendicitis
Mumps
Tonsillitis
Chicken pox

Then I've had a few broken bones through the years for good measure!

So you are having corrective surgery then Harv, how the fuck have you swung that on the NHS?

[harv]

Nope, not corrective surgery to stop me from wearing specs. It's surgery to fix the damage caused by my diabetes to prevent me from going blind in the future.

Even if I could get corrective surgery done I wouldn't do it because I'm bloody terrified

[Late]

Removed.
Has been read by those who matter. No point leaving it for posterity.

[harv]

Shit, sorry to hear about all that late

[Late]

Thanks mate.

Sorry to bring the mood down, chaps!

[Dragontao]

Sorry to hear all that Late. Bit of a nightmare.

Myself, had chicken pox year before last, on top of bronchitis, got admitted to hospital as there is a 30% mortality rate if you have chicken pox and pneumonia at the same time. Had to discharge myself though. (I think I posted a picture on here at the time). Lost two stone. Never been as ill in my life. They say kids diseases are far worse when you get them as an adult (if I could have the chicken pox again without the feeling shite part of it, I could do with losing the two stone again lol).

I've had pneumonia before, didn't realise I had it until I collapses after a boxing match and got taken to hospital (I won with a first round knockout).

Along with the chest x-rays from that, I've had so many x-rays I'm surprised I'm not radiocative. Broken right arm in three places, tib and fib in right leg, left hand, chipped my skull, broken nose twice, right foot, two ribs, numerous muscle tears, damaged tendons in both shoulders (had both shoulders operated on in the past three years), had a rusty nail go through my left achilles which then went septic, dislocated both shoulders on more than one occasion, dislocated left hip plus a total of 20 stitiches (the worst cut requiring 9 when I chipped my skull). Oh and currently have a hernia that my gp keeps telling me isn't a problem.

Apart from those, nothing really serious.
 

[harv]

I've been very lucky so far with broken bones, just broke my hand back when I was having my nervous breakdown in 92. Didn't get it treated either which is a bit of a daft thing not to do. Wasn't the whole hand, just two knuckles.

Was really surprised that I didn't get my nose, cheekbone and left eye socket seriously damaged years ago when I had an attempted mugging. My face was a real mess, so much so that one of the policemen asked me if they had used a knuckle duster or some other sort of weapon. The mate I was with wasn't so lucky, he broke his hip which is a really big deal for someone who's left leg was completely fucked due to polio when he was a kid. I didn't go down though, I've so far never been knocked out in my life by anyone else, although I did manage to knock myself out after collapsing due to low sugar levels and hitting my head on a kitchen sink, again when I was having my breakdown.

I put my lack of broken bones down to me regularly drinking plenty of milk, particularly when I was a kid.

I've had one VERY close brush with death in the late 90s where I had a bad hypo. A normal person's sugar levels are between 4 and 9, a diabetic starts having a hypo when it gets below 4. I was on my way to an IT job fair where you had all of the blue chip companies looking for graduates to employ but started having a hypo midway through the tube journey. By the time I got to the tube station I wanted I was well into one and luckily collapsed outside a Red Cross charity shop who called an ambulance and there was a policeman who must have had some knowledge of diabetes, probably through a relative. He started spooning sugar and water into my mouth until the ambulance arrived. When the ambulance got there they did a blood test and it was 0.1...and 0.0 is pretty much coma and death

[jman]

Yeah shit late, that does sound really shitty to have to go through, nothing worse than feeling helpless as you watch loved ones suffer

My right side of my face seems to of subsided with pain (it's still swollen to buggary), but I'm doubled over in pain on my left side now (which swelled a day later than the right), it's like really severe dental pain plus the feeling of your ear popping constantly, painkillers don't seem to be doing anything to numb the pain, therefore I've had another sleepless night, hopefully the pain should subside by tonight if its one day behind my other side

..on the plus side, I'm getting really good at forza whilst all this is happening