Things Your Boss Says That Makes You Want To Punch Him/Her In The Face

[harv]

We've all been there at some point in our working lives.

The most annoying for me, and has been the closest comment to drive me to throwing a punch to their face is, "don't give me problems, give me solutions". For fucksake...if there was a solution I wouldn't have brought it up, you fuckwit

I think that's going to be at the top of most people's list because most people mention the word 'problem' in a group setting when they're stuck with something and are looking for help. At least that's been my personal experience and has been more than once.

Just seen it said by someone on an episode of The Bill and I've heard it a few times in the past. Don't know why it winds me up so much, could be because it's a bit of an 80s throwback, maybe

[Dragontao]

Suffice it to say I have a problem with authority and bosses do have a habit of annoying me from time to time. It's usually coming up with stupid ideas that will never work and not listening when you tell them they won't work.

I've had a number of disciplinary hearings at work for run ins with bosses in the past few years.

One for e-mailing the senior management and telling them they need to get out of their ivory towers and descend to our level so they can smell the shit flowing downwards (they disagreed wity my comments about things that needed changing but, funnily enough, a lot of those things got changed in themonths following the disciplinary hearing (for bringing the company into disrepute).

Then there was the e-mail that got me into trouble because I told someone high up in the company that it was a good job they weren't in charge of planning during the war, or we'd all be speaking German.

Oh and another e-mail in which I asked if they were mistaken about something or just spouting bullshit.

I've always gotten on well with my immediate bosses. They generally leave me to get on with my work in peace. It's when the senior mangement get involved that I get wound up.

One wound me up to the point I punched a hole in his office door (they didn't even make me pay for the repair). That all stemmed from them trying to introduce a company uniform and threatening to discipline me or even sack me if I didn't wear it. I never did wear the uniform, as I said I couldn't wait to see them lose in court (I'm guessing they figured out I was right that they didn't have a leg to stand on as I refused to sign an amendment to my contract). They conned all but a handful of people into complying.

Another occasion I punched a wall and then put a dent in a filing cabinet (I don't think there was anything important in it, they didn't get it open for months).

Then last year I might have indicated I was going to put our head of department through a wall. He had threatened to give me a kicking if I didn't do something he wanted me to do that was utter bollocks. Now I'm pretty certain he didn't mean it in the physical sense, as he knows what the outcome of trying that would have been, but I got rather annoyed at it. Funnily enough, never did what they wanted either.

I'm lucky that I'm pretty good at my job to the point that they'd up the Swanny, at least in the short term, if they sacked me or I left. It also helps if people genuinely believe you are a bit of a psycho who keeps a list of people who have seriously pissed them off and intend to send as many of the people on that list to an early grave after a long and painful torture session. 

[AVFCRoss]

Everything, the bloke is a total C U Next Tuesday.

I got a disciplinary once for refusing to cover another store because it was too far for me to travel, and I just ended up turning up at my own store. He rang me during the day saying the other manager called him asking him where I was, and when I told him I never agreed to go, he threatened to sack me if I didn't make my way there immediately.

I ended up going for the rest of the day, and when I turned up as normal for work a few days later, he handed me an envelope which contained an invite to a disciplinary hearing, with the accusation being "disobeying authority and causing damages to managerial relationships" (because apparently, it was my fault the other manager had a go at him for promising cover before actually arranging it officially with me or anyone else  )

Anyway, the hearing ended in no action taken, because the manager who undertook it understood I hadn't actually done anything wrong, or anything to warrant a warning of any sort. The prick even made me go to Walsall for it, just to make me travel further to attend it, just to make a point of trying to rub it in further.

By and large, I'm fine as long as people stay out of my way and I'm allowed to get on with my own work. When the interference occurs and seniors start to piss me off by bugging me about trivial shit, thats when I get annoyed, and sometimes do things that aren't terribly clever, but that's more in the hope they get the point to leave me be more than anything genuinely disruptive.

[Dragontao]

I once said to a manager "just remember, the worst thing you can ever do to me is sack me, I am capable of doing much much worse to you".

Trust me, if people think you're a bit of a psycho, they do tend to be very careful around you.