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Author Topic: If You Were Prime Minister...  (Read 10219 times)

Offline ancelotti

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If You Were Prime Minister...
« on: December 05, 2012, 11:06:56 PM »
What policies would you implement? Just a few I can think of would be:

Renationalisation of utilities and railways.

No deductions from jail sentences for good behaviour. Additions for bad behaviour. More opportunities for prisoners to give them a better chance of reintegration. A stronger focus on restorative justice.

Tighter controls on benefits. No more free money transferred into people's bank accounts to be spent on fags/booze/Sky TV. People would receive a form of credit that can only be spent on essentials. National ID cards may help with the implementation of this.

Introduce a system whereby social criteria must be met before allowing people to have children.

Decriminalisation of drugs (similar to Portuguese system). Legalisation and taxation of prostitution, secure brothels and regular health screening. Legalisation and taxation of marijuana.

Abolish university tuition fees. Increase entry criteria substantially. Abolish silly degrees like media studies/Robin Hood studies. Encourage young people to take up vocational education.

Review large-scale spending projects such as trident.

Abolition of the licence fee.

Introduction of national DNA database.

Equal parenting rights for fathers. Further equality in the workplace for women.

A flat rate of income tax. No loopholes.

Separation of church and state. No more bishops making decisions in the House of Lords.

Withdraw our troops from fighting pointless wars. Soldiers pay no tax whilst stationed outside the UK on duty.

Criminalise the production of reality TV shows!

Offline harv

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Re: If You Were Prime Minister...
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2012, 12:04:17 AM »
Gather all of the illegal aliens and fuck them off to France and Germany where they should have been in the first place. Tighten border controls. Get rid of the army of translators and spend the money on teaching those refugees that haven't been fucked off back to France and Germany to speak, read and write English.

Raise Income Tax across the board, raise National Insurance across the board.

Change the no smoking law to enable pubs and clubs to have the choice whether to make a pub or club either smoking or non-smoking. These people pay a fortune in tax, if the average Brit decides to quit my government is going to have bugger all money to spend.

Abolish the TV Licence.

Bring back corporal punishment in schools, and teach the little fuckers to at least be able to read and write before they leave school.

Start a programme to teach adults that didn't leave school to read and write to read and write. There are a shitload of adults out there that can't.

Pull out of the EU.

Reduce the prison population by bringing back the death penalty for murderers, rapists and paedophiles that have been found guilty of their crimes due to DNA testing. Increase the sentences for violent crime, burglary, theft and being caught with child pornography, and let the kiddy fidlers that haven't been caught by DNA mix with the regular prisoners without any extra protection.

Have a giant gold statue of myself built in Trafalgar Square so that people can worship me.

Start a UK Space Programme so that I can fly to the moon to check if the Yanks really did land there in 69.

Ban rap, hip hop or any over shite that doesn't involve playing real instruments, punishable by death.
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Offline jman

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Re: If You Were Prime Minister...
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2012, 08:13:50 AM »
Introduce a system whereby social criteria must be met before allowing people to have children.

Theres all kind of wrong with this one.. loads of people in China float the 1 child rule.. theres no way to prevent people having children unless you force abortions on women.. not something I would personally agree with and what criteria would they exactly have to meet before they could have children.. just having a job ??

It all comes back to benefits and removing these tax avoiding, low-lifes from britain... they suck the country dry from their own personal selfishness.. and the government just allow it...

So my 2 main rules would be

To sort out the benefit system - child/disability/unemployed ... try and deport most of these fuckers as possible first then you'll be able to lessen the amount of benefits we pay out and relax the taxes for the people who actually contribute to this country.

My 2nd one is unrelated (kindof), but I agree with harv that we need stricter border controls and to get rid of people who have wormed their way into this country..


Oh and I forgot..

Naked Friday for everyone - woohooo!
« Last Edit: December 06, 2012, 08:15:28 AM by jman »

Offline Late

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Re: If You Were Prime Minister...
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2012, 09:33:20 AM »
Increased taxation across the board.
Lock down borders (including emigration of the wealthy).
Criminalisation of unemployment.
National service.
Massive militarisation.
Update the voting system.
Ultra-aggressive foreign policy in Europe.
Establishment of the position of Emperor of Europe.
Economic and military aid to all African nations.
Establishment of the position of Emperor of the European and African Union.
Nuclear testing in the larger former colonies.
Economic and military aid to USA, Australia, etc. in their rebuilding.
Ever-increasing numbers of peace envoys to the Middle East.
Dramatically increased taxation on petroleum.
Aggressive diplomatic negotiations with China.
Aggressive diplomatic negotiations with rest of the world.
Establishment of the position of Supreme Ruler of Earth.
Heavy investment into ftl travel and planet-scale terraforming.
Establishment of the position of Supreme Ruler of Earth and all her colonies.


That all might be a tiny bit right wing, now I read it back to myself.
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Offline ancelotti

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Re: If You Were Prime Minister...
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2012, 09:41:49 AM »
You make us all look like wishy-washy liberals, Late!  ;D

Theres all kind of wrong with this one.. loads of people in China float the 1 child rule.. theres no way to prevent people having children unless you force abortions on women.. not something I would personally agree with and what criteria would they exactly have to meet before they could have children.. just having a job ??

It all comes back to benefits and removing these tax avoiding, low-lifes from

Basically, yeah. People would have to attend a parenting course, as well as proving they can support the child financially.

Offline Dragontao

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Re: If You Were Prime Minister...
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2012, 10:22:27 PM »
I agree with a fair few of the policies already stated on here, though it's safe to say I will be the least liberal by far on crime. I would pledge to reduce the prison population by at least 50% in the first year, some would be given the option oif surviving the cull if they agree to sign up to be human guinea pigs in medical trials because experimentation on animals would be banned.

I don't have time right now to post too much (which wil probably be a massive relief to most of you lol).

My most controversial policy would probably be to introduce measures to reduce population growth. Get fucked off with the continual blathering on about needing more houses. No we need less people. Doesn't matter how sustainable we try to be, the planet can only support a finite population and population growth is out of control.

No government wants to introduce such measures because of the problems that would exist for a number of generations as the number of elderely grow as a percentage of the population but believe me it is necessary. However, more importantly corporations and individuals don't want policies like that because of their own greed. Too many don't care about the future beyond their lifetime or their kids lifetimes. All they are interested in is more people to drive continued economic growth. 

I'll leave it there for now.
Choosing which political party to vote for is like trying to decide if you'd rather have syphilis, gonorrhea or herpes.

Offline Dragontao

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Re: If You Were Prime Minister...
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2012, 10:26:18 PM »
Oh and I forgot..

Mandatory naked friday for every female who isn't fat or ugly - woohooo!

There you go, fixed.

Might not be a vote winner with females but we're taking away their right to vote anyway. Look at the way the world has deteriorated since they've been let away from the kitchen sink.  ;)
Choosing which political party to vote for is like trying to decide if you'd rather have syphilis, gonorrhea or herpes.

Offline styles

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Re: If You Were Prime Minister...
« Reply #7 on: December 25, 2012, 01:15:37 PM »
Gather all of the illegal aliens and fuck them off

You're thinking of the plot to men in black
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